


Interview with a 3-Month Old

by NerdKenz2001



Series: La Guardia Cross Based [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Gen, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, This is based on a YouTube video I saw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-06
Updated: 2020-02-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22580353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdKenz2001/pseuds/NerdKenz2001
Summary: (This is a based on the video by LaGuardia Cross with the same title).Tony is bored so he interviews his three month old newborn.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: La Guardia Cross Based [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1651438
Comments: 10
Kudos: 268





	Interview with a 3-Month Old

The camera focuses onto Tony start for a minute before he sits down and smiles. ”’Sup YouTube people. I’m bored so I’m gonna interview my 3-month old. Peter say hi!”

The camera cuts to a baby who is sitting up by being tucked in between the arm of the couch and the back of the couch. He is wearing an Ironman onesie and is smiling at his father as he flails his little cubby arms around in happiness.

”So Peter, um, you’re three-months old now and I wanted to know in your own words how would you describe your self.” 

Peter starts to blabber sounds from his mouth while looking confused at his father. While he is blabbering, text is appearing of the screen that says, _“‘I’m babbbbbbbbyyyy...and humble.’”_

The camera cuts back to Tony as he snorts and laughs in amusement. “I...I live with you! There is nothing humble about you.”

Baby Peter starts to blabber in a louder voice with text saying _“‘THAT’S A LIE!”_

Tony shakes his head and starts the interview up again. “As the newest and youngest member of our family, from your perspective, who do you think is in charge?”

Baby Peter laughs at his father as the next reads _“‘I am.’”_

Tony just chuckles and says, “Ugh. You’re so cute and so confused. Um, I’m your daddy so I’m in charge.”

The text next to Peter just says _“‘Ha. Heehee.’”_

Tony looks next to him and then back at his baby. “I don’t- I don’t see what’s funny.’”

Peter blabbers even more with text that says, _“‘You’re a manservant. LOOK:...’”_

That was when Peter decided to throw up so white stuff, probably milk, and it landed on his Ironman onesie, and told Tony to _“‘Clean that.’”_

The two Starks have a start off as the camera plays suspenseful music to see who would cave first.

”No.” Tony said to his baby.

” _’Huh_?’”

”I said no. I’m a grown man, and there is NO way that anybody is gonna tell me what to-“ 

Pepper Potts, CEO of Stark Industries voice can be heard in the background talking to Tony. **“Stop being overdramatic and wipe that baby’s face. You can’t have him on camera looking like that!”**

”I-“

The video is interrupted by one of those technical difficulty things with the multi-colored bars but then it is fixed to show Tony wiping Peter’s face with a rag. “Stop laughing. Just stop talking, just stop talking.”

”’ _Why fight it?’_ ” The text next to Peter said as he laughed. “‘ _You’re a rookie. You’re good at it. It’s who you are.’”_

”It’s not who I am!” Tony pouted at his baby. “It’s not.”

”’ _Then what are you_?’”

”Well for one,” Tony said. “I’m not a manservant! I can tell you that.”

Peter started to whine and the text next to him said, “ _‘I’m gonna fall!’”_

”Hold on one second I got you.” Tony picked up his baby and put him back into place. He patted Peter’s stomach as he asked if he was okay. ”So anyway I’m not a manservant.”

_”’I’M FALLING!”_ Baby Peter whined as he rolled around. 

”Wait a minute! I see whatcha trying to do! I see what ya trying to do! You’re trying to get me to be a servant aren’t you?”

Baby Peter starred at his dad confused as he slid deeper into the crook of the couch. _”‘I’m just a baby!’”_

”No, no. Your trying to get into my head!” Tony said as he tapped at his forehead. “By playing that baby card but I’m not falling for that!”

”’ _Dad, come here_!’” Peter threw his little baby fist in the air at his dad. 

”Okay, listen. One last time!” Tony huffed as he picked up his son and corrected his seating position. 

_”’Finally, manservant.’”_

”I knew you were gonna do that!” He pointed at Peter. ”I knew you were gonna do that! And that’s the problem. You’ve been on this earth for ninety days, Peter. Okay? You’re pasted the probationary period so all I wanna see is... all I wantcha to do something yourself.”

Peter just stared at his feet as his dad talking to him. 

”Can you do something yourself?”

Baby Peter just stared blankly into space as you hear soft poppy sounds coming from his butt. The camera then pans over to Tony with his AC/DC shirt covering his nose. He just stares at Peter with a ‘really?’ look. 

_”’Oh no_.’” The baby’s mouth is blurred out like he had just cursed as he fell back over on his side. 

**Author's Note:**

> I love LaGuardia Cross’ videos. He has multiple so if ya want more just tell me.


End file.
